In a power imbalanced relationship, the person who has more power (e.g., the rabbi, the teacher, the attorney, the social worker, the physician, the dentist) who chooses to use the word “boundary” reinforces the unhealthy dynamic that the relationship is a two-way street.
Power is not necessarily a bad thing; it’s just in how it’s used. As T.H. White wrote in The Once and Future King:
“Love is a trick played on us by the forces of evolution. Pleasure is the bait laid down by the same. There is only power. Power is of the individual mind, but the mind’s power is not enough. Power of the body decides everything in the end, and only Might is Right.
Thus, the use of the word “limit” is a better choice, since both persons can freely limit what they share or do. It’s also reminiscent of calculus–not the kind on your teeth, but the really fun kind you can do in a notebook, on a window, on a mirror, on a sidewalk, or in your head.
The National Council on School Boards of Nursing has a video on professional boundaries says that “almost all professional boundaries occur at the over-involvement end of the spectrum”. As someone who was named after a nurse and raised by an attorney, I bristle at this assessment. If someone dies from sepsis due to negligence, this is much worse than me asking if you have a cat or dog at home ensuring you are complying with the Nurse Practice Act, HIPAA, or other local and state regulations of the nursing profession at home.
Last Updated: 2025-Jul-20